You will need:
Step 1. Catch a germ/bug/virus/air-born pathogen. *Stay away from anything toooo deadly or life threatening. It’s just not advantageous for the ol’ bod.
Step 2. Once your sickness has been carefully handpicked and chosen, come down with a fever of 102 degrees and crash into bed and sleep for two hours. Is baby taken care of? That is what hubbies are for. Your throat is now aching, your head is now pounding. Thank the Lord for Ibuprofen!
Step 3. Have husband wake you up every three hours, at least, to nurse. Dat baby ain’t gonna feed hisself! But don’t touch him. Or breathe on him. At all. Because that would be bad. You don’t want the baby to get anything with a fever attached to it. (What were you even thinking of getting a virus with a fever in the first place!?)
Step 4. Next morning, tell Husband you are just fine and have him go to work, because he kinda has to still do his job and bring in the dough.
Step 5. Continue the day in a zombie like existence, but don’t forget to wake up every time baby cries in order to comfort him, feed him, burp him, change him, bath him when his diaper explodes, and wish for the sweet, sweet relief that only can be found in dea— SLEEP. (I meant sleep).
Step 6. Finally call doctor. He is probably going to tell you its best to come in the next day.
Step 7. Wait till the next day. Go into the doctor. Now he will probably tell you there isn’t anything you can do but wait till the sickness takes its course because you are breastfeeding. But still don’t breathe on the baby. And wash your hands.
Step 8. Have awesome mom-in-law come over so you can finally get some more sleep and slowly start to recover.
Step 9. Be a good mom and just get over it when it becomes inconvenient to do life, teach, and be sick at the same time.
Step 10. Go to the park with your sister and have a good ol’ time. Thank goodness you are feeling a little bit more energy.
Step 11. Go home and find Husband there with a bad head ache and a low-grade fever. *groan* At least you weren’t both down and out at the same time!